Chapter 1: Identity Crisis

[A Short excerpt in a series called “Who Am I?” that is dedicated to finding myself]

Sunaina was a famous television series in India when I was young. The protagonist of the show was a young teenager called Sunaina. The story revolved around her dreaming of events and them coming true the next day. The seven-year-old me used to think that when I also turn 13, my dreams would also come true like hers.

While my dreams do not consist of a love triangle and Quiz contests, I must admit, it would be cool to have them come true. But nightmares are dreams too.

My biggest nightmare is hurting the people I love. Because I run away at the slightest sign of conflict. I run away when things get hard. I am well aware of my deficiencies.

There’s a famous thought experiment called the ‘The Ship of Theseus’. Theseus, the son of the Greek god Poseidon had a mighty ship. The ship was so well maintained that if there was even the possibility of the slightest damage to it or if one part of the ship was even a tad worse, it will be replaced by a good part instantly. The workers would work round the clock to make sure the ship was always in the perfect ‘as good as new’ condition. Then after several hundred years, almost every part of the ship would have been replaced by new parts. So at which point does it stop becoming the ship of Theseus?

I have always found the above-mentioned thought experiment ridiculously funny. Because according to me, the ship stopped being Theseus’s the minute he was dead. But the entire point of this thought experiment to put it bluntly is that objects are more than the sum of their parts.

This question posits the nature of identity. Are we to be judged by our parts?

The same thought experiment can be applied to my moral quandary. If I start doing everything to make the people I love happy, If my very existence is to run away from conflict and take decisions for others, would I, then, stop being me?

Would my decisions to avert hard times change my identity?